I haven’t posted for about a hundred years.
For approximately seventy-eight of those years I have had a thumping headache.
The beloved has been at work all day, every day for the past eighty-two years.
Small hasn’t slept more than a minute at night for the past ninety-nine years.
He hasn’t slept because he has been busy breastfeeding every minute.
Every other minute he screeches like a furious crow and breakdances round the bed and pillows, executing fast kicks to the bladder.
Am sure he is screeching and writhing in agonising pain, as I am a dreadful parent who has given him too much cows milk. And biscuits, mustn’t forget the biscuits.
Have surely set him up to have some lifelong dairy/wheat/food generally intolerance.
My brain is irreversibly besludged and I will never be able to think coherently again.
Re-enrolling to do my masters was worst idea ever, as thoughts of multitasking completely paralyse me. Also, see above.
Have not called Centrelink, despite writing ‘call centrelink’ on thirty-eight different lists.
Will probably be sent to prison for diddling them out of their seventy-five cents a week.
Have also failed to rsvp to things, answer phone calls, return messages or respond to simple requests.
Suspect is good thing I cannot be sent to prison for being crap friend.
Obviously we can never have more children. Am unable to wrangle just one.